A NOT SO SECRET SECRET SANTA

Here it is that time of year again.
Christmas...Merry Christmas...
Well, as we all know, in many offices there is a secret santa gift exchange.
You know...names are written down on pieces of paper, the pieces of paper are folded and put into a bag or hat or whatever can be found to put the paper in. people pull a name and but a gift for that person.
Now, in one office, I have to shake my head because of what we are working with.
One of the participants presented there receiver with a gift. In an office setting, I think you would put the gift in that persons' chair. That is the purpose of being "secret Santa".
Another participant, had her gift from secret santa placed in her chair. She already knew who her secret santa was.

Just A Little MOre Breeze

So, here we are, another day, and the silliest thing happens.
How is it you are walking down the street, with your backpack, pants socks and shoes.....BUT.....
NO SHIRT?!?!?!?!?
When asked about a shirt, " I forgot my shirt."
DR. "Well, you can not come here without a shirt"
Person: "I have the backpack to cover my front"
My question, "Didn't you feel some sort of breeze when walking down the street?"
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Patient is sitting in the waiting area, talking on her phone. She is having a very good conversation.
So, after 15 minutes of talking and laughing on the phone, two things happen:
A) (To the person on the phone) "OK, I'll talk to you when I get home" 
B) "Excuse me, what time is my appointment?"
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Not Going There !!!

PSR: (Places a walk-in patient in a slot for an intake):
MHC: (addressing PSR at 11:57pm) Why did you put that patient on my schedule? I don't have time to see this patient. I have only 15 minutes.
PSR: (opening appointment): I put this patient on your schedule at 11:34am.
MHC: I was seeing another patient. I have to go to
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PSR: Hello,
MHC: Hi this is Maggie.
PSR: Hi, I was trying to call the patient but her phone is not working.
MHC: Well, she is on the 4th floor. Can you come to the fourth floor and let her know that I don't have time to sign any paper today. She can bring it on her next appointment?
PSR: (after hanging up the phone): What is she talking about? This MHC is on the same floor as the patient and and she has the gall to ask me to go to the fourth floor and speak to the patient !!!

No Spanish Here...

(dates and names have been changed)

ME: Center for Counseling, How may I help you?
CALLER: *with heavy spanish accent* You speak in Spanish?
ME: No, I do not.
CALLER: OK, I need to check my appointment.
ME: What is your last name?
CALLER: I. Rodnso
ME: Date of Birth?
CALLER: 01/01/01.
ME: Your appointment is: Neverary 52 at 5pm.
CALLER: Ok Thank you.

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My co-worker is hilarious. it does not matter what she is doing, she ALWAYS has to "butt in". someone could come into the clinic and look directly at me, but she will answer.

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So, there is an Affidaivit that needs to be signed.  There is a Notary Public in-house. This really needs to be taken care of.
Provider: I'm not leaving my patients to go anywhere to get this signed.
Notary: I have to much work to do to leave and go see a doctor for a signature.

What to do???? What to do?????
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Appointment Confusion

How can you confuse an appointment?

A social worker called to see about an appointment for a patient. The social worker stated that she wanted to reschedule an appointment. Upon checking the system, the patient missed their appointment. So I will schedule an appointment. This is how the conversation went:
SW: I would like to reschedule an appointment for this patient. The patient missed her appointment.
ME: If the patient missed her appointment, then we need to schedule an appointment.
SW: No, no. the patient had an appointment but missed it. So I would like to reschedule that appointment.
ME: If the patient never made the appointment, then I can schedule an appointment.
SW: I called and someone gave me an appointment for the patient on 8/4/2017.
ME: There is no appointment for that date in our system.
SW: I called an the guy gave me that date for the patient.
ME: Maybe that appointment was scheduled somewhere else, because I do not see 8/04/2017 in the system. Patient has a medical appointment on 9/___ with medical.
SW: Yes, I made that appointment.
ME: All right. The next appointment is November___.
SW: Thank you. Who is the patients' therapist?
ME: The patient does not currently have a therapist. The patient was discharged and has to start over.
SW: When was the patient discharged?
ME: 8/___.
SW: All right, Thank you.
ME: You're welcome. Have a great day.

Similiar Names

What are the chances of two people having the same name?
That happened to my co-worker. There was a discrepency about my co-workers name and the name of someone who does not work here. It was interesting, very interesting. But, it got straight. Thank goodness.

Me And My Big Mouth!!!!

Imagine one day being at work  and having no security guard.  Someone is yelling and verbally abusing you and says something threatening.
Another person standing by says: "You need to call 'security.
You say " We don't have security." After thinking about it you say"UH-OH!!!'
That is like saying," no worries, the safety is on the gun."
You shoot the gun, gun fires, you look at the gun and say, " OH...THE SAFETY WAS NOT ON!!!!"
Story of a co-worker.